Oh we had to laugh! Nigeria Nigeria! Kai, na-wow!
A group of us VSOs met up in Abuja and needed to chop. It was decided we would go to SFC for some cheap(ish) and cheerful fast food. One of our group was vegetarian so we were pleased to see ‘Veggie Burger’ on the menu. I decided to join Esme in ordering one.
We were most curious – what would a Nigerian veggie burger be like? They actually had them in stock, which was a good sign. I had some confidence that it couldn’t be that bad, how wrong could it go?
Esme unwrapped hers first. Lifting the bun she looked, and prodded; ‘I think they forgot the burger!’
Oh dear – poor Esme I thought. Let me tuck into mine!
I peeked at mine and saw the same splodge of mayo, 1 lettuce leaf, 2 weedy tomato slices and 3 rings of raw onion pressed between the bun. She was right! I saw no succulent burger there.
A conversation with the manager ensued. It went something like this, although a little more convoluted:
Esme: ‘Did they forget the burger?’
Manager: ‘No. That is how it is now.’
Esme: ‘Sir, this is not a burger’
Manager: ‘Yes it is. It’s a Veggie Burger.’
Esme: ‘There is no burger! Where is the burger?!’
Manager: ‘It is vegetables in a burger bun. That is our concept of a Veggie Burger.’
Me: ‘…Vegetables???!! It doesn’t even reach one tomato between us!’
Manager: ‘That is how it is now’
Esme: ‘Can’t you at least give us some cheese?’
Manager: ‘Cheese? You want cheese? That will be extra money.’
Esme: ‘Oh no it won’t’
The conversation went round again, probably a couple of times, before they reluctantly squidged in one slice of cheese. We gave in, sat down and chuckled. The others tucked into buns filled with hash browns, salad, and more significantly – actual chunky chicken fillet burgers!
But for Esme and me it was 270Naira for a funny story and an empty belly.