You couldn't make this up!

This FRONT PAGE article is copied word for word, punctuation mark for punctuation mark, from ‘The Atlantic Express – Braving the Waves to Break the News!’ (a quality breakfast table read in Calabar).

MAN LOSES SEX ORGAN – For refusing sex to three ladies

A good looking young man (name withheld) is reported to have lost his sex organ for refusing to make love to three ladies.
The incident which occurred at Nembe Creek in the Nembe Local Government Area of Bayelsa State, was brought before a witch-doctor at Ogbia Town for verification of the culpability of the three ladies who were accused of being responsible for the sudden disappearance of the mans organ.
Our sources revealed that the young man, on returning from his routine work at the oil rich Nembe Creek, was approached by three ladies who demanded sex from him but the man turned down their request.
Angered by the man’s refusal, the ladies were reported to have made some abracadabra incantation , which lead to the disappearance of the man’s organ.
On realizing the sudden change in him, the man who hails from Nembe raised an alarm which attracted a lot of people to the scene.
The ladies, our source revealed, incurred the wrath of the youth when they denied the allegation and they were later bundled into a speed boat with only pants on their bodies and brought to a witch-doctor for verification and confirmation.
The development, Atlantic Express gathered, caused pandemonium at Ogbia Town as people scampered to catch a glimpse of the ladies and their victim.
The witch-doctor, we learnt, worked on the three ladies who later confessed that they were really the cause and promised, to restore the man’s organ, when they return home, which they said was tied to a tree.

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