Karaoke

It was Marebec's birthday last week, so Dave had arranged a surprise party for her on Saturday night. It was to be held at the Filipino (no idea how to spell that) residence in Abuja, so really I should have been prepared. I've heard about Filipino parties before, hell, I've even seen video evidence of what is expected of everyone who attends. But I was so consumed with shame after nearly giving the game away to Marebec, that I simply hadn't thought it through. It was only as we walked through the door that the bomb dropped - the telly was on, words up on screen, microphone, someone warbling from the sofa....... NOOOOOOOoooooooooo! Karaoke!!!!

I feebly tried to delay the inevitable, taking a plate of food even though my belly was already bursting, planning strategic bathroom visits, and engaging in deep and meaningful conversations (or at least seeming to). Finally though there was no escape and really, after Kevin and Indar's valiant efforts I couldn't really refuse. So nowt for it but to down a bottle of Star and a fat glass of gin. Confidence thus enhanced I took the mic and gave the vocal chords a good stretch.

Really though, it's a wonder I'm not fighting off the hoard of record producers that must be trying to reach me after my grand show. I know for a fact that my rendition of Madonna's 'American Pie' would certainly set a few tongues wagging: "But who is that girl?"... "I've never heard such a voice" ... "She's certainly got a special something..."

The Filipino community will never be the same again.